#4: The Submissive Slave to The Corporate Dominatrix
Dangerous Parsley no.4
“What Should I Do With My Life?”
There’s something wrong with how most people think about life, especially in their 20’s. A lot of people, myself included, ask themselves and others, “what should I do with my life?”, and I think that’s not the best way of looking at it. It’s normal to feel lost, but you don’t just do one thing with your life. Your life is a mix of your personal passions, something that makes you money, and a social life. Some people end up turning their passions into a career because they think that “if you do something you love, you won’t work a day in your life”, which is just plain wrong. There will always be stresses from your career, no matter how awesome 60% of it is; there will always be that other 40% of dealing with picky clients, due dates, inventory, or juggling multiple projects. Success also means something different to various people, so you can’t just try to replicate what another did, because they might be into something that you’re not into at all, and those passions could have driven them to succeed to the point they’re at now.
Sub vs. Dom - A Toxic Love Story
I’m always deep in thought about the meaning of life, and what I should be doing with my time in it, but this week has been quite eventful. I quit my job working at the ophthalmologist with a one week notice. I don’t feel the need to really explain myself and defend my decision, but part of me also feels the responsibility of letting people know why. It’s my main source of income, but it’s been making me miserable ever since quarantine was over in the middle of June. It’s also been making me feel so mentally drained, so much so that I could barely work on my real estate business or anything I’m passionate about, because I’d just feel so drained and depressed, even on my days off. This continued even after talking to my manager about how I feel, as well as dropping my days down to only 3 during the week, which are still 10 hour days usually. I also planned one vacation earlier in the year for September, giving them at least 3 months notice, and they cancelled my vacation, since I didn’t have enough PTO.
Why didn’t I have enough PTO, you ask? It’s because I got a concussion and was out of work for 3 days. My manager’s reasoning was “you’ve had too many callouts recently”, wording it as if I called out from partying too hard the night before. No shit, I was concussed. Sick time and PTO are two separate things here, but the company found a loophole to combine them, and control when I can work and when I can’t, like I’m a submissive whore to the corporate dominatrix. As soon as I received the email, I walked out of the building, sat in my car, and screamed to loud music until my throat hurt, and my voice was raspy for the rest of the day. I walked back into work like nothing happened, turned off my machine, and left for the day (I was allowed to). Of course I didn’t learn from that, so after my long weekend, I go back into work for 3 days straight, driving an hour away to the furthest location, and taking over 100 patients in a day. I didn’t even get an anxiety attack (woo)! I received an email right as I was about to leave, about a co-worker talking shit about me that I’ve been late to work several times, arriving just after 7:30 every day. They told me it’s been causing problems and I shouldn’t be allowed to do that. My manager emailed me that this can’t keep happening or else I’d be suspended.
I walked out of work, went into my car, and felt more pissed off than depressed. I felt like throwing my scrubs into the dumpster right outside my car, taking a picture, and texting my boss to fuck off. As much as I wanted to, I respect her, so I didn’t. I drove an hour home in a depressed silence, not knowing what I should do. Knowing that I wasn’t in the best mindset, I didn’t text her.
@thatdoordashgirl
The next day was the start of my 4 day weekend, where I needed to work on my business. I’ve been watching ThatDoorDashGirl on TikTok, hearing her cute raspy voice, going on her DoorDash adventures every day. She makes about $100/day and it looks really fun. I loved working for Domino’s as a driver, other than the part where they make you come into work at certain hours and you have a boss, so I thought this might be a great thing to try out just for fun! I woke up at 7am naturally, and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I watched some more of her TikToks, and thought now was as good a time as any to try it out. I signed up for DoorDash in 10 minutes. I was too excited to work on my real estate business, so I decided to try out DoorDash that afternoon. It went as expected, and was pretty fucking awesome.
That night on my route, I was getting a lot of Chipotle orders. I was in line waiting to pick up an order for a client, when another DoorDash girl saw me and we started talking for a bit. She’s been doing it for two weeks, and I told her it was my first day. She told me how much she’s loving it so far, where she lives, what areas she covers, and it felt really nice talking to someone new in public for the first time in a while! That night I made $67.
The next day was pretty great as well. I worked the same Hingham area, and of course got a lot of Chipotle orders. This time at the pickup area, there was a different Chipotle girl. She was short, wore glasses, and had short curly green hair. She also had this really nice low raspy voice, but still high, if that makes sense. I told her my order, and she said, “it’s going to be a couple minutes. I love your shirt by the way.”
I was wearing a white Vans Warped Tour 2018 shirt, it’s definitely one of my favorite summer t-shirts. I said “aw thank you!”
She also ended up asking if I rave, which of course I don’t. I told her I needed to take this order, but that I’m sure I’ll be back. I regretted not getting the other DoorDash girl’s number or social media the other night, since I honestly love making new friends, so I didn’t want to make the same mistake this time.
After my order, it was a little quiet and I wasn’t getting an order for a few minutes. I decided now was as good a time as any to walk up to her and ask for her social media. Keep in mind, I never do this, and the fact that my body took control over my brain for this, was quite the miracle. I walked up to her, when there were no customers, and said, “hey so I don’t have an order this time, but you seem cool, would you want to follow me on Instagram or something to keep in touch?”
Que rapid heart beats.
“Of course!”, she said. “I can’t have my phone on me, but let me type it in for you.”
She typed her private Instagram into my phone and hit follow. “Oh yeah, I didn’t get your name.”
“Oh right”, I said. “I’m Justin.”
“My name’s Paige, but I like being called Lilith, my middle name.”
YES a conversation starter.
“My snake’s name is Lilith!”, I exclaimed.
“Oh my god, are you serious? That’s awesome!”
I proceeded to show her a picture of my snake, and she said she’s really cute. There was a line forming behind us of customers she should probably be talking to instead of me, so I let her go while I took a Bertucci’s order that just flashed on my phone. It was so exciting to finally meet someone my age who wanted to talk to me, and was genuinely nice.
We talked for a little bit after I got home, and it was really nice making a new friend.
That night I made over $100.
Taking A Risk For The Sake Of Your Mental Health
The next morning, I sent an email to my manager with a resignation letter. I’ve been feeling so much more free and happier and I’m making just as much money as I was at my job that was making me feel miserable every day. At least with this job, I get to make new friends, and get paid to sing in my car and listen to my favorite podcasts. I can also choose my own schedule, and be able to focus more on my real estate business during the day!
For those who don’t know, any apps you work for, such as DoorDash, Lyft, Uber, Grubhub, etc., do not hire you as an employee; you are a 1099-independent contractor, meaning you’re running it like a business. There’s no steady income, and the more you work, the more money you make. This is incredibly exciting for me, because I’ve been dreaming of the day I can be a full time entrepreneur, and now I can!
My main focus is still being a Realtor, and finding success in that, but now I’m growing multiple streams of income through DoorDash, writing articles on Medium, and commissions as a Realtor. This is all very stressful and exciting at the same time, as you can probably imagine. I keep talking to my girlfriend, Emma, about it, and she continues to support me throughout everything, and knows that I made the best decision for my mental health, and everything is going to turn out okay.
This is something very important that I’ve learned, just this past week: Never risk your mental health for money. I’ve always known this, especially after quitting my job at Stop & Shop, but in the past few months, part of me had forgotten.
I don’t care if you have to live in your car, and technically be “homeless”. If quitting your job and being a digital nomad is what you want to do, and you want to take that risk, just do it. Yes it’s going to be stressful, and you’ll never have your shit 100% figured out, but that’s the whole point. You’ll figure it out as you go along. You’ll find what works, what doesn’t, and you’ll find a daily routine that works for you, not for your job. You’ll feel happier, more positive, and you’ll begin to feel more confident. Working on your passions will become less of a chore, and back to what they were before your job stressed you out to the point of depression. You’re free. It’s your life. You are going to die eventually, stop not taking risks.
Stop being a submissive work whore to your job, and do what you really want in life, even if things don’t seem perfect now. Things will never feel “perfect”. You just have to listen to your gut, do what’s best for your mental health, find some awesome ways to make loads of money, whether that’s OnlyFans or DoorDash, and live your life to the fullest.
5 Things I Consumed This Week
Who are you online? By Haley Nahman. She explores how there are lots of different kinds of people on social media.
The ones who keep their embarrassing past social media posts.
The ones who go through and delete them years later .
And the ones who regularly delete posts. “The journalist and prolific tweeter Elizabeth Bruenig has a bot that deletes all her tweets after two weeks”
Haley explains why she would and wouldn’t do this, and what it means to have a social media presence, which is definitely one of my next articles on Medium.
Building a Business From a Bedroom, $98,130 and 11-Months In by Daniel Bourke. I really try to avoid the articles with these headlines, but I find it so fascinating how various people make money in different ways. Daniel is smart, has a Machine Learning Master’s Degree, quit his job, and is now making money by writing blog posts, and selling an online course on Machine Learning. Instead of making a course and marketing it on his own, like a lot of courses by online creators, usually made on Teachable, someone from Udemy reached out to him to partner in making a course to sell on that platform. Daniel makes $5,000-$8,000/mo just from that. He launched the course on January 17, 2020. Believe that you can become successful, put in the work, and you will find success.
What’s Wrong With Taking The Back Streets by John Green, on vlogbrothers. John talks about drawing 170,000 circles on a piece of paper, and how no circle is exactly like another circle. It brings John a sense of comfort from the thought spirals he experiences in his head. It may not be economic productivity to draw 170,000 circles, but it’s mentally productive, as it calms the constant OCD thoughts going on in our heads, and I think that sort of productivity needs to be celebrated more. It’s a video of him drawing circles into random patterns, while a calming voiceover from John plays in the background for 4 minutes. His video also inspired this post from someone on Reddit, who drew Pizza John in only circles.
A Chipotle burrito that was probably 1,000 calories that was worth it x10.
How To Write One Medium Article Per Day: This article helped me learn how I can start to make my daily routine as a full time entrepreneur. I updated my schedule in this great app called TimeBloc. I noticed my brain is best at writing in the mornings, so I put that first at around 8AM. I then work on my daily marketing and prospecting as a Realtor, then when that work is done, I DoorDash. I need to make DoorDashing an everyday activity in my schedule in order to keep a steady income. I’m going to miss spending a lot of those nights with Emma, making dinner and just spending time together, but I know that this is temporary, and it’s not forever. I can’t wait for my real estate business to explode, and I’ll be back spending nights with the love of my life.
Really enjoyed this post!